Divorce

to the tune of "After All" by Dar Williams

Come inside. Fall asleep,
beside the photo of a family.
Once upon a time they both knew me,
and knew it was me they were for.

All that first life,
I was stunned at how the feelings fit.
All the windows lit with brightened bits
turning on through the blue,
with sky in my room.
And it seemed like
the curtains had changed but it was really me.
I had ideas of what love would be,
watching as he kissed her.

Then when they broke, that was it:
the wishing well had a hole in it.
And the neighbors fished for regrets and shit.
So we learned to lock doors.

When the king came
home to admit he had lost the game,
and the kingdom of our given name,
my brother held the camera.

As we curled in our nests,
comforters piled upon our little chests
carpet shag an adequate mattress,
we tried all night just to sleep,
kerosene at our feet—
And the screen flared,
the VCR having ate the tape,
the glare of static until we blinked awake,
the lantern cool beside us.

When my father spoke,
he smiled at how my brother tackled me.
Our mother said she loved us equally.
I’d listen while I helped her.

Come inside. Fall asleep,
beside the fortress of a memory.
Once upon a time they’d fight for me,
but there’s no one to blame
when there’s no game to play—
And it’s too long
of a story to explain it all.
I’m no longer who you thought you called.
I’m just the jerk who answered.